Chapter One. Two New Presidents.
San Smith walked into his office one day, feeling depressed. It was over. The Democrats had won. His beloved Republicans had been forced out by the very people they had tried to protect.
And now we enter a deadly age of sin. He muttered. I really hoped I wouldnt have to resort to this.
Stan withdrew his trusty pistol from the shoulder holster. Ahh, Gun. How many times have we been together? Shot people. Shot objects. Shot animals. But now I need you to do me a favour.
Stan placed the barrel of the gun in his mouth.
I should probably say goodbye to someone. He muttered. Someone who has meant so much to me since Ive known them. I know, how could I have forgotten you.
Stan took the gun out of this mouth, and put it on his desk. He then picked the phone up and started to dial a number.
At the Smith house, Francine was preparing some dinner for later that night.
So, Ive decided that you were the only thing keeping me going. Stan said over the phone. Goodbye.
Now, listen here. George W. Bush said, from the Bahamas. What kind of an attitude is that to take? Youre a Republican, Stan, and they dont give up. Not in the face of overwhelming adversity. Why do you think we are still in Iraq? Because we never give up. We are determined to finish a job no matter how much of mess we make in the process. Why do you think America is the greatest country in the world? Because its a country where a drunken rich kid can become president. And you know how I did that? By never giving up on my dreams. Even though I wanted to several times.
Stan was almost moved to tears. Thank you, Sir. You have inspired me to find a new purpose in life. Im not going to kill myself.
Damn straight. Bush said. Now, goodbye Stan. Its been nice knowing you.
Stan put the phone down. He picked his gun up.
I guess my new purpose is to get the Republicans back in power by any Continue reading